My Heart Song

Do not be drunk with wine, which will ruin you, but be filled with the Spirit. Speak to each other with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making music in your hearts to the Lord. Always give thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.              Ephesians 5:18-20 (NCV, my emphasis)

What kind of songs does my heart sing to God? Now that brings several “Top Hits” to my mind! I love music! I am one of those people who has a CD playing in the car, through my computer, or my iPhone is playing my faves. Music has been a vehicle to lift my spirit, to sift my emotions, and to soothe my pain for as long as I can remember. I seem to be able to express myself better with a song than just words. Here are some of the Heart Songs that God has heard from me:

Gloom, Despair, and Agony on Me. 

The theme song to my pity parties makes about as much sense as this old Hee Haw bit that I used to laugh at when I was a kid. I’ve had two moments when the despair was very great and I truly felt the battle for my faith and commitment to God. It wasn’t about my salvation. When I accepted and made the commitment to Jesus on that July 1995 night, that was it for me. No turning back. But these two moments that I remember were about trust. I would still believe my need for a savior and that Jesus was the One who saved me but I would be living that belief from a distance. I would no longer allow Him to be LORD of all of me.

Spinning Wheel (Blood, Sweat & Tears). 

Just let me try to “figure out” in my own strength and the spinning wheel begins to turn! And that is what happened in those two moments I spoke about before. I wrestled and struggled to figure out “Why God” and how I was going to live with God at a distance and I was spinning and spinning through my own reason and through Scripture and through what God had been doing in my life – and both times it just got to the point where I said “I surrender”. Living with God at a distance is what I had done for the first 40 years of my life and that hadn’t gone well so why would I want to go back to that?

Love You So Much (Hillsongs). 

And when I surrendered to God – my LORD came with His extravagant love and just held me. It was just the best of hugs! So complete and covered me with healing all over my bruised body, mind, and spirit. And then the love song began. I can’t sing this song without the tears, humbled by the love of my Father.

Homesick (MercyMe). 

Sadness is as much a part of life as the joy. There has been times of profound sadness in my life. This song takes me from that sadness to the acknowledgment that I am homesick for that place where there will be only love and all tears will be wiped away forever. I will not be sad to leave this world. There is so much expectation in my heart for what is waiting for me when I get home.

And so I ask myself, what song is playing in my heart today for my LORD? This “commercial” was sent to me by my friend, Nelda. It got me to thinking about listening to my Heart Song to God.



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