Marriage, God is still teaching me

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it; that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the assembly to himself gloriously, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. Even so husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord also does the assembly; because we are members of his body, of his flesh and bones. “For this cause a man will leave his father and mother, and will be joined to his wife. The two will become one flesh.” [Genesis 2:24] This mystery is great, but I speak concerning Christ and of the assembly. Nevertheless each of you must also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she respects her husband.           Ephesians 5:25-33 (WEB)

I am looking at Scriptures this week that I may not have thought applied to me but since all Scripture is good for teaching (2 Timothy 3:16), I have reconsidered!

This is one of many Scriptures that would have been good to commit to memory as a young girl. It give the characteristics of a God-loving, God-fearing man.

The man who loves God first is one with his priorities at a good beginning. I knew my husband, Henry, loved God before I knew anything else except his name. I knew his testimony before I knew about his family or his income. His humility and kindness made his looks just an added bonus!

The man who considers his wife’s needs first may not always remember you like waffles over pancakes but he is going to know and remember what God has gifted you to do in ministry. That fact will weigh on the decisions for where you worship; even where you live. There was a time when a ministry opportunity for me appeared to be opening. It would have meant a move. Henry was willing to move. Henry wants me to fulfill my call.

Leaving your parents and joining with your spouse is more than geography and sex. It is a covenant, a holy vow and commitment, between you, your spouse, and God. No one — NO ONE — gets another place at that table. Not your parents. Not your children.

Your spouse should know without a doubt that he/she is #2 in your life after God. You do not sacrifice your spouse in order to please your parents. Your decisions should reflect the characteristics of you and your spouse as a unit — not those of your parents. Your children should know that “Mom and Dad time” is important and worthy of consideration and respect. They should know that Mom and Dad love each other and so their home is a place of love, respect, and forgiveness. Children should know how to say, “I’m sorry” because they have heard their parents say it to each other — and to them.

Marriage is passion that goes far beyond the physical. It is love sifted through your relationship with God that brings more compassion, kindness, gentleness joy, faith, peace, patience, and, yes, self-control and mercy (forgiveness) than you ever thought possible to give — and receive. It is a mystery — a miracle.

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